Now Playing Tracks

threeheadguy:

candyrifle:

wildanduntamedthing:

dave-vriska:

enfeebler:

naathaaaly:

Reason why I hate cats. They’re so scary.

THE BAKED THE CAT WHY ARE YOG THE ANAL

All the fucking time. People have their pets euthay did something to their kid who fuem or pulled on their tail or got in their fathing. Here’s a better idea: WACKING KID WHEN THEY’RE AROUND Aanks.

^^bolded

But this? Well, tarn, isn’t it?

they do bet bad shit happenack.

I’ll bet that littln’t touch the n right?

and OP is a fuckiing to blame the ending itself when the kid SMACKET IN THE HEAD.

ThURTS for a little cat. I’d lack too.


Ale.

is this supposed to be readable or am i missing something

facts-i-just-made-up:

A terrible accident occurred at the World Cup today as Mexico’s Julio Esperanza intersected with Canada’s Harold Marker.

A lucky cameraman caught the event just as the intersection began, avoiding the gruesome aftermath. Esperanza lost his had and forarm in the accident, while Marker’s condition is not yet know. But judging by the photograph, it appears he will have severe brain damage.

The ball is expected to make a full recovery.

(Source: nosdrinker)

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

A bleached whale appears off the coast of Norway.

Marine biologists don’t fully understand why whales bleach themselves. Some think it’s because they get confused by submarine sonar, others think it may be suicidal behavior, and others suggest white supremacists are to blame. We may never know why, but there’s no question it happens and it’s been happening more and more.

It’s common for activists and passersby to try to help the whales but some suggest this does more harm than good, as the whales’ intent is unknown and may play an important role in natural selection. Sadly, all bleached whales that have been reverted back to their natural color have dyed.

Tagged: whale, whales, beached, bleach, bleached, moby dick, ocean, marine, biology, nature, anal bleaching, you may laugh but that last tag is gonna get more views than all the others combined.

facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.

7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”

Troubling words indeed.

(Source: nartress)

facts-i-just-made-up:

The Cnidaria Mammaris or “Sea Boob” is named for its resemblance to the human breast.  Endemic to the southern Pacific Ocean, the Sea Boob can grow up to 15ft wide (Bra size WWWW) and is often found in pairs.  Under the surface, the Sea Boob has poisonous tentacles like those of a jellyfish that reach to the sea floor, where they entangle bottom dwellers to feed.

Sea Boobs were hunted throughout the 19th century, coveted as an aphrodisiac or just caught and squeezed for pleasure by lonely sailors. They may have played a role in the origin of the myth of mermaids as well.

(Source: fantasticallyweirdshit)

facts-i-just-made-up:

Taco Bell Loses Airline Food Contract

(AP 12-4-12) While Taco Bell had successfully negotiated rights to supply food on all United and Pan-Am flights, the first flights under their contract were disastrous.  89 of the 102 flights taking place on the first day were plagued with extensive lavatory problems, in most cases the airplane bathrooms were overflowed with waste and had to be purged in flight, not to mention the accidents happening to passengers who could not make it to the restrooms due to the extreme lines.

"We’ve halted the Taco Bell program and returned to our usual caterers," said Airline representative Joe C. Schmoe, "We thought it would be a good idea to offer Taco Bell’s delicious food to passengers given the stresses and limitations of TSA era air travel, but we see now how this was in error, and will stick with what works in the future".

(Source: tibets)

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union